so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
