Non-Jews are for practice
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
