i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
