Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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