if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
