You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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