ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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