Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
