you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Where are you guys?
Drunk
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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