Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
