Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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