So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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