i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
