ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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