I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
