Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
