she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
