Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
