Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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