I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
They have beer where we have blood.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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