Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
