the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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