apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
