I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
