just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
