You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do vagina's smell?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
