your room smells of hookers.
And success
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
