naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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