Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
