If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
