Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
