She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
