sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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