Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
