This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
