i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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