if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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