sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
