Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
