You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
