She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
