good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
