Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
