My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
