cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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