This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
