do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
