Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
