it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
so much tequila, so little girl.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
