your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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