Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
